Suitedjustice's Ongoing Mid-life Crisis

I was sick on Sunday; coughing so much that at times I felt lightheaded from the lack of oxygen. That's not a buzz I enjoy. I'll certainly never be caught pulling a David Carradine.

So today I punched into the chance factory for a half day so as to not completely tank my hours for the week. I'm glad that I did, as I ran into a maniac at the poker table, and I was able to get into a few hands with him, with me taking the check/call line with value, and he not finding any miracles on the river. Poker: 2 hours, +$413.00. Slots: 2.5 hours, +$159.00.

Week 13

MGM Springfield $1/$2 poker: 13.5 hours
(-$525.00)
MGM Springfield Slots: 15.5 hours
+$520.00

Running Poker Total: 222 hours, +$2416.00
Running Slot Total: 224 hours, +$9596.00

Total 13 Weeks: 446 hours, +$12012.00

Also, I made a 10-high straight flush outside of the high hand hours, so my promo-free streak continues. On the other hand, if the promo hours had been running, then the maniac probably would have been felted before I sat down; torn apart by nits sandbagging their sets to make quads for the promo.

90 minutes into yesterday's poker session and I was down $300 and thinking that this is unsustainable, that at this rate I would go busto before long, that I only had 2 1/2 hours left in the session to put a dent in this deficit.

Obviously that's not the way to think, but that's the way my mind wants to contemplate wins and losses, always in the short term, in tangible amounts over tangible timespans. We're told that the best way to think about wins and losses is over one single lifetime cash game. My mind reviles that idea.

That's why I like tournaments; they're stories. Every tournament has a beginning, a middle, and an end, with character development and plotline progression for each stage. It's true that later acts of the story sometimes never happen for the player, but that in itself is an ending, albeit an unsatisfying one.

Cash games are more like an insipid daily local newspaper; the same old crap with only occasional headlines worth noting, but even those headlines soon end up in the trash, or lining a birdcage.

I can't play tournies sustainably with my bankroll, so I play cash; however, I've been grinding steadily lately, and if I keep it up, I may be able to switch over some day. Yesterday I switched my thought over from having 2 1/2 hours left in the day to put a dent in the loss to having 18 1/2 hours left in the week—heaps of time, but still far less than an lifetime's worth. I believe that helped.

Poker: 4 hours, +$142
Slots: 3.5 hours, +$60

Nice comeback yesterday my Justice bro!

Thanks Tuma!

Again a great book opener! 😀

few months back a guy hit a royal flush like 17 minutes before the 500 high hand promo ended and the 15k monte carlo began

he flopped it and was livid, just beside himself

angriest $500 high hand win i've ever seen in my life

afterwards there was a lot of discussion over whether if he tried to tank his way to midnight, if it would have been allowed

knowing the table, i think everyone would have agreed to let him take his time

earlier that night i had a bad full house minutes before the high hand promo for the hour ended, it was unlikely to win it in a fresh hour, so i just shoved entire stack into a small pot in order to end it in time - only problem was the guy who i knocked off the list was someone i'd stacked about 15 minutes earlier and just rebought for the min trying to kill time until he got paid out - he was livid with me - saying "are you seriously going to do that to me twice?"

Thanks Morph!

If I ever settle down to write the book, I'll prolly have to read through this thread again—something I've never done because my ramblings here must be longer than a standard book length.

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Nice steal, rickroll!

MGM Springfield starts the hand when the dealer cuts the cards. The start of the hand must be within the allotted high hand period, and is associated only with that period. It's a simple way to discourage stalling.

Also in their promo, your kicker plays when making quads, but not straight/royal flushes. So if you check from the BB with 47o and the flop comes 7773, the play is to shove on the flop to save your 4 kicker from being counterfeited, assuming that there's no higher quads high hand already on the board. Of course then some schmoe with a $30 stack and TT calls the all-in.

Yesterday I was sick and still coughing. I went in, but on the way to work Beck's "Loser" came on the radio—always a bad omen for me. I'm not terribly superstitious, but I give them a tiny amount of leeway; for fun, if anything. I checked the slots, found some plays, and lost a little on every one of them...just a nibble on each, but it added up. I did not feel well enough to play poker, so I left. Slots: 3 hours, (-$52).

I feel better today.

Last night I found myself at a tight and timid table, and I spent the first half hour pushing them around a bit. I lost some money during that interval because good strategy doesn't always pan out in the short term.

A new player sat down across from me and I went card dead. After an orbit, he started opening every hand for $15 and getting folds preflop or on the flop. I knew what he was doing, but it's not my job to be the poker police if I don't have the ordnance to back it up. Holding junk and butting heads with a maniac is drinking a cup of poison and hoping that someone else dies.

Finally, I picked up A9s in the SB; good enough to take to battle against someone opening 100%. I bumped his $15 up to $60 and he called. I c-bet a low dry flop for $45 and he folded.

After that, he slowed down with the opens. I think he was trying to see how many hands in a row he could open and win without a fight at this table. The answer was 11 or so.

Poker: 5 hours, +$277
Slots: 5 hours, +$253

I stole the drinking poison simile from somewhere; looked it up and found on Quora (user Natalie Frank) that someone named Alan Brandt wrote in 1995: “Being resentful, they say, is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die” and the same year he was also quoted as saying “Resentment is like taking poison and hoping it’ll kill someone else.”

I like the first version better. It has a better beat.

Strong quote

Speaking of resentment: I was checking a video poker machine last night when I heard a distinct mumbling coming from two machines to my left...

"Goddamn Ultimate X rats, living off EBTs."

It took me a minute to realize that I was being referred to. I was the rat. For our international friends, EBTs refer to funds for supplemental nutrition for the underpaid and disadvantaged, formerly known as food stamps.

I've never received anything from that program, nor have I taken any unemployment or welfare benefits, but like nearly all Americans, I've paid for them in taxes and/or out of my paycheck from the time I started work at age 16.

The grouser was a fat old man wearing an aquamarine golf shirt, light khaki cargo shorts with the pockets stuffed with whatever, and a baseball cap with a 90s pattern on it.

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Something like this.

I assumed that he'd paid a golf pro shop entirely too much money for a new ensemble that was three decades out of fashion.

And he was still mumbling and grumbling on and on about EBTs. He seemed to be seized and incensed by the idea of not allowing families and children in this wealthy nation to starve and die by the millions on the streets.

For once, a bon mot came to me in a timely fashion, where I'd normally have to wait until long afterwards. "Excuse me sir; I can hear you. And you look familiar; didn't I see you in the Epstein files?"

I thought it, but I didn't say it. One of the main rules of advantage play slots is: never get into any shite with the normies. Nothing good can come of it in terms of the business.

So I left the fat old mumbling c**t alone to his phantoms and his misery.

Poker: 4 hours, +$368
Slots: 4.5 hours, +$37

The old fart is just regurgitating something he heard on one of the many brain rotting “news talk” shows that run across his living room tv day after day.

Quite likely he has no concept of what “EBTs” are other than they are something to label the “poor” which he maybe trying to equate to someone he pegs as an AP player searching for edges and ruining his “playing vibes”

I’ve had more than a few confusing “insults” hurled my direction. Including once being told I must be some rich kid because I’ve never had to live off grid (idk what the two had to do with each other) and in the next sentence I was called a poor loser who’ll never have anything nice in life, I assume because of the job I was working [emoji2375]it was an amusing but highly confusing moment

Bonus Poker
Bonus Poker Deluxe
Deuces Wild
Deuces Wild Bonus
Double Bonus
Double Double Bonus
Jacks or Better
Joker Poker
Triple Double Bonus

These are the variants of video poker games found on Ultimate X machines. Learning the correct strategy for all 9 games without having to check one's phone for help very often takes study and practice.

This is skilled labor. The Ultimate X craftsmen and craftswomen I've run across look and act nothing like the fat old f**k's chimerical benefits cadgers.

I was surprised to be called a rat; it was a first for me in this profession. I think Natamus has it right where this guy is lazily misapplying received opinion from his highly truncated informational bubble.

The thing is: he wasn't even playing Ultimate X, so it's not like I was swiping multipliers from him. My mere presence set him off.

Yesterday (poker 4 hours, +$241; slots 4.5 hours, +$151) concluded a good workweek, which was needed after running breakevenish for most of July. I'll still need one more good week to make the monthly total look healthy.

I plan on taking a week's staycation in August; unpaid, of course, but that's the price of freedom.

Week 14

MGM Springfield $1/$2 poker: 17 hours
+$1028.00
MGM Springfield Slots: 20.5 hours
+$449.00

Running Poker Total: 239 hours, +$3444.00
Running Slot Total: 244.5 hours, +$10045.00

Total 14 Weeks: 483.5 hours, +$13489.00

Let's clear out the fat and old perjoratives. I am adjacent to both of these things; I own them, and I am content.

Roger Waters is kind of a dick, and also he's an underrated bassist.

PTO approved.

Perfect time of year. Read, work out, clean, get a set of days where your eyes and ears aren’t hearing and seeing “casinos things”.

One thing I’d like to see from your recent posts: maybe do a crash course refresher on YouTube of small stakes live tournament strategy.

The fall is ripe for circuit tournaments and holiday tournaments and I like your odds against those fields when you’re locked in and sharp

I apologize for being so fascinated.

He could have recognized you as an advantage player, and been pissed off that you were on a machine.

Or he could have been an AP player himself, with a month's experience, and known that AP players are really really smart, and resented being in the same room with a bunch of dummies.

Or he could have been watching his wife drain their retirement funds in Dragon Link and been on mega tilt.

Important: was he wearing a fanny pack? I like the design you posted, and the next time I go to a thrift store, I'm going to look for one that's similar. With a matching fanny pack. That would rock!

The whole thing reminds me of that scene where The Big Lebowski berates The Dude for being a bum and not having a job--then it turns out he's living off an allowance from his daughter. "I provide him with a generous allowance!"

This whole thing's a scream.

I keep repeating myself, but you know what this is. 😀 So maybe you start using them for chapters?

Sorry you had that happen Suited, keep your chin up and I love the draft witty comeback. I’ve said this before but I’ve been called a rat, vulture, cockroach, scumbag before many times. I never say anything mean to these people and will mostly stay silent. If they say it to my face I’m just “sorry couldn’t help myself” or “if you go to the Cheesecake Factory, you’re going to check the menu.”

My all time absolute favorite, that I will never have the balls to say, is from a guy I know from my real job that used to be a slot hustler in the Deep South during that first golden era you hustled in and he would tell people who called him a vulture/rat: “there’s nothing in the rules that says you have to play like a dummy”

quoting for later reference

yes

indeed

and promise if you relax nagging me the cagey name of my first next band will be 'chimerical brothers and sisters presented by the all man and woman band with no exclusion to others chosing alternatives to eating peach'

i usually stay quiet at the poker table after a hand

but i remember a 2/5 NL hand at borgata when I'm HU and all-in, and this guy said "i'm sorry, i have a boat" in a semi-dickish way, the river completed him to a boat

i flip my hand, revealing a rivered straight flush (!!!) and without hesitation I say, "There's no need to apologize." (!!!)

The guy was beside himself, he could not believe what fell !!!

Thanks Natamus!

Springfield MGM only runs two small and heavily-raked tourneys per week, but I have it in the back of my head to move back to LV (for a third time) one day to try my hand at tourneys once my bankroll grows healthy enough.

No fanny pack. He was keeping his worldly possessions in his cargo shorts. Google Image Search 90s patterns; they're a hoot. And it's amazing that you brought Lebowski up, because the guy looked a lot like the older version.

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Thanks Morph! When the time comes, I'll just use the thread search function and your screenname.

Wow. Lot of meanies out there. If the competition isn't fierce on a particular day, I won't sit down or stand directly next to somebody to check a machine. I elect to circle back when they're gone, so I don't get as much feedback as other APs who are a little bolder, but I also don't find as many plays.

Take as much as you want, brother.

I try not to mess with people as well. I did slip up a few days ago and make a "ship it" comment when snapping off an obnoxious player's bluff with ace high, but she got me back on Sunday when she shut down one of my bluffs and told everyone "He's bluffing. He never has the ace there!" I will try to value bet the hell out of her in our next exchange, but now we have a whole dynamic going and it's energy-draining.