Etiquette Question: Dealer is talking nonstop for more than 10 minutes with a player
The dealer was nonstop talking with a player. I was looking at my hand and I said, hey, you're really distracting me. You've been talking nonstop for a while now. I'm just letting you know.
She resisted, (I don't recall what she said but it was defensive).
I said, "You do what you're going to do, but I'm just letting you know that it's making it hard for me to focus at the table. You haven't stopped talking for the last few minutes. It's excessive.
I'm not playing at my regular place that I play at, so I felt freer to speak up. The last time this happened at my home casino, I left the table for 15 minutes on a break rather than say anything because I don't want to complain.
Then I told them when I arrived how annoying it was after the dealer left. One of the players who I had a good relationship with who was chatting her said it was partially his fault. I was like, hey she's nice, but that was just too much for me to handle.
What's the etiquette in this situation for the players and the dealers?
Thanks!
18 Replies
Unless the dealer is speaking LOUDLY and you're in the 1 or 8/9 seat, you say nothing. Maybe put some small pieces of balled up tissue into your ears to muffle the sound that obviously bothers you more than anyone else at the table
You clearly seem neurodiverse in addition to not understanding how to handle social situations. When YOU'RE the only one bothered by a noise, or an ambiguity, or a player acting oddly, it's on YOU to do whatever self-soothing you need to do to calm yourself, rather than acting-out and making others feel uncomfortable.
Then just put a piece of tissue in your ear, since my guess is that your perception of volume isn't that same as that for a typical normie.
It sounds like you're implying that it's cool for a dealer to talk nonstop for an entire 30-minute session, engaging in gossip or whatever they want to talk about?
Yes, this is neither abnormal nor something that annoys most neurotypical people.
This can actually be a great way to improve one's social skills and to socialize in general.
Really? It sounds like you don't actually enjoy having to share space with other people.
How will live poker improve your social skills if no one is allowed to talk at the table?
I don't usually like to overtalk with the dealers because I don't want to distract them from doing their job at an optimal level.
I was making an assumption here based on observation of how I've noticed their performance declines to some extent when they are getting distracted by players at the table with excessive conversations going on.
There are certainly dealers that talk too much to the point that it slows down the game. The mere fact of talking isn't an issue to complain about.
This can actually be a great way to improve one's social skills and to socialize in general.
Improving social skills by hanging out with poker players is certainly a strategy.
Unpopular opinion apparently but some dealers way overdo it with the talking. They should at least stop talking when there are big decisions.
Not a very tactful way to broach this issue though. I would say “hey I get you are trying to be friendly, but can I have some quiet while I think over this decision?”
Unpopular opinion apparently but some dealers way overdo it with the talking. They should at least stop talking when there are big decisions.
For me the issue isn't about dealers talking too much overall, unless it impacts the flow of the game, but dealers talking non-stop to one (sometimes two) single player. That's something everyone notices and never helps the atmosphere at the table.
Then somebody else tries to join the conversation, most often when it's sports related, and they just get ignored. Or someone says something to the dealer and gets a "I'm in the middle of a conversation" look.
Obviously just a small percentage of dealers who do that, but they exist.
You'd be surprised what you can accomplish by making your issue known in a polite manner. ...."I'm sorry dealer, but your discussion is making it very difficult for me to make a decision on my action. Could you please give me a few moments of quiet to act? I'd really appreciate it; thanks."
Even if in their mind they think the request is ridiculous, the overwhelming majority of dealers won't make an issue of it in front of everyone after you've been polite about it. They work for tips, and most know it hurts their bottom dollar to be belligerent or rude.
If that doesn't work, your options are speaking with the floor, taking a walk until the dealer's down is over, or just deal with it. Honestly I think you should just learn to deal with it, as this is common standard behavior at a poker table. If people socializing at the table bothers you so much, bring earbuds with you when you play. You don't even have to turn them on if you don't want to, simply putting them in will greatly reduce the noise you're experiencing.
For me the issue isn't about dealers talking too much overall, unless it impacts the flow of the game, but dealers talking non-stop to one (sometimes two) single player. That's something everyone notices and never helps the atmosphere at the table.Then somebody else tries to join the conversation, most often when it's sports related, and they just get ignored. Or someone says s
I agree completely. This was exactly what was going on yesterday.
The dealer was talking to one player only the entire time.
Had a guy beside me say that shuffling the chips bothered him, so I stopped. I’m happy, so I don’t want to do anything to make another unhappy.
I’m not unaffected as in my last tournament, I had a lady to my left that was so annoying that I think I unconsciously made a bad decision and busted just to get away from her.
Being able to gather yourself after a bad event is a superpower. I don’t think I will ever let another get me off my game again. Been working hard on mindset.
Dealers are my friends, I am patient with them always. I never understood people that gripe & complain to a person serving them food. Then they wake up and wonder why their stomach hurts.
At the end of the day, dealers are people too. They have bad days, bad habits just like the rest of us. They put up with a lot of crap at times when maybe they don’t feel well, but have to work.
Bottom line
There’s a lot of things to get annoyed about in poker, but if you never get annoyed, you will win more. Sometimes it’s not easy, but it’s a +EV skill to learn.
