moving up in stakes

Why do you play? If it is your main source of income then you need to learn to deal with the problem as it is critical to your career choice. If it is not it isn't a problem unless you make it one. You also need realize absent a successful record at 5/10 or10/20 you do not know you can beat the game. Indeed given your issue it seems likely if you played your best you would beat the game but your worries about losing will keep you from playing your best. Good luck.

Exposure therapy. This is how they treat ppl with phobias and anxiety disorders

Ex I started at 10NL online. When I first started shot taking 25NL I was scared shitless. Then I moved to 50, 100, 200 and eventually was playing 5/10. It took awhile but I eventually settled in at each level.

I think your problem is you’re only dipping your toe in. Take a legit 5-10 buy in shot at those stakes instead of only when the game is good

Some old advice from the earlier days of 2+2, combined with some of my own experience, has stuck with me for a long time and may be useful to you now. I use it myself all the time when I play in my current games where game selection is so important.

You should not be thinking of yourself as "a 5/5 player" or "a 5/10 player." You aren't a player of any particular level. You are a POKER PLAYER. You are going to make your money by playing the games in which you will make the most money consistently.

The fact that you are only playing 20-30% of your hours at 5/10 is not a bad thing. It means you are disciplined enough to only play that game when it's good! If your usual game is 5/5 and going on a bad run at a higher level is going to tilt you so hard that you won't be able to play well at your regular level, then staying out of that game unless it's juicy enough is a GOOD thing for your winrate and bankroll overall.

I say this as someone who jumps around levels a lot. The highest I have ever played is 5/10. I don't think I have ever, even when I was playing as my primary income source, put in the majority of my hours at 5/10. I just tried to always play in the game where I thought I'd make the most, regardless of level. If I can put in 8 hours at 2/5 and make $45/hr without tilting, or try to play 8 hours at 5/10 and make $70/hr but go on tilt and have to stop if I lose a buy-in, which is actually better overall long-term?

I think if you stick to what you're doing now--only playing 5/10 when you feel that it's worth the risk--eventually you will become more and more immune to the bad feeling of the swings (especially if you have upswings at the higher level) and you'll naturally start to feel good about playing more volume at the higher level. That's how it happened with me when I was moving up.

What helped me on my poker journey was to only move up in stakes after I met a financial goal I had set. The monies I won in achieving the goal are to finance the next level. The first time I started keeping stats was in 2023. I lost $5,400 that year. playing $1/2. In 2024 I actually started studying about Hold 'Em and I had a goal of making $8K so I could wipe out the previous year's losses and then bankroll playing the bigger $1/3 or $2/5 games. So last year I managed to make $11K and I started to play the $1/3 along with a $5/10 game once a month. My goal is to net $25K this year so that I can do the 5/10 game regularly.

Doing it this way for me is a nice, gradual increase in stakes and stress, but you have to be okay with losing what you're showing up with. The fact that I'm playing with other people's money is a huge help on that.

what kind of sample do you have at all of these games?

if your prior experience is taking shots at good 5/10 games, you might be in for a rude awakening hourly wise if you attempt to make it your main game

ime midstakes nl is extremely tough during non peak hours

I find a good way to shot-take is to putting aside a portion of your bankroll that you're okay with losing--ideally 2-3 BIs at the next stake--and go to the casino knowing it's basically a coin flip whether you'll have a winning session but you'll always have that fat 2/5 bankroll to fall back on.

If you have a losing session, I like going back down to the stake I'm comfortable at and winning double what I lost, then take the shot again.

If you have a winning session, you're now a little deeper rolled for the new stake. Doesn't mean you'll stick, but eventually you hit enough sets that you just become a 5/T player.

Keep game selecting and jumping into 5-10 and 10-20 when lineups are good. You don’t have to be a 5-10 reg, you can just be a best game available reg. Chase the hourly not the ego.

If there was a whale going all in blind for 300 every hand at 1-2 you should play that instead.

You just need to get good enough such that you know you are winning with no doubt given the skill level of the field, and have a bankroll that can withstand even a terrible downswing, and then just grind it out