My Last Shot at Poker
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KidCudi147
21
1yr agoJust played my last session of 2024. And I'm gonna take a break for 2 weeks. I was planning on playing untill Sunday but I wasn't really feeling it last couple days and rather do something else this weekend. But before I give it a rest, let's look at the year results:
$ graph
bb graph
results
With +103k table profit, around 33% rakeback (77k) and -10k untracked it's +170k$ for the year. The rb numbers are a bit of guessing game, I've had periods where it was raining rakeback but also periods where I got fuck all. But I think the estimated 33% is sort of accurate. So yeah very happy with how it went this year, I didn't expect things to go so well honestly.
The year started not so well, Once again I was in a bad spot. I was kind of downswinging and because of regulations (I lost too much according to them, while I was still up on the site and playing with profit) I lost access to my main site. I was spending a lot of the time in the Netherlands and basically had no where to play other than gg. Here I was just unmotivated playing r&c and also blowing money on mtt's (briefly thought about making the switch) and at some point I had only like 35% of my already relatively small roll left with no realistic income. I felt already stuck for quite a while because of the terrible mental game I never got past nl200 basically and literally I was ready to give up. I started looking for jobs and really was on the edge of quitting.
But yeah back in Austria once again I got myself together and with some motivation I found some backing deal to get myself back up on my feet and started out in March with playing 100nl/200nl. This time I really worked hard on mental game side and finally got some sort of breakthrough and made massive progress. This improvement was basically the foundation of why at some point it started to go well. When my roll hit x-amount I continued on my own. I just want to say thank you to "Metal_ouda" and "captainrobour" for believing in me at that time.
Unfortunately I didn't have any luck with jackpots, ofcourse it's quite frustrating to drop like 50-60k on a jackpot pool and get 4k back in return also because I had some painful moments. I posted some in here but I also recall earlier this year where I mucked a fucking jackpot hand in nl200. I literally had to take a couple days off afterwards of how I shit I felt about it. But it's also important to appreciate that I ran very well this year. I'm well aware that 7.7evbb is not my realistic expectation, and despite running so bad at 1k I still acknowledge that I ran pretty well in crucial moments (like for example starting on nl500 or running well when nearly busting deposit limits).
and if I play this year 30% of my volume on tilt instead of the 50% (these are just random numbers haha, but to make a point) of last year. That will be another big w....
hahaha the estimation would be 15% this year, maybe even slightly less. So yeah definitely massive progress. I still struggle with terrible focus and being super impulsive but I really had months of consistent solid performance without angry auto-pilot snapclicking. Hopefully I can keep improving this.
Right now gonna take a break, holidays coming up and got a trip planned to Stockholm/Sweden with some friends. And begin next year I will move to Amsterdam so excited for that. For next year I will not set any specific goals for money I want to make or potentially shotting highstakes, I just hope I can keep being somewhat consistent. I made it to 2k on my own but I have to be realistic that with my current approach I'm gonna hit a brick wall in terms of climbing the stakes. Despite having a good network of friends in the pokerworld I simply do way too much of my study time alone and I'm not some super genius. I basically lack feedback and I will stagnate if I don't change this. So for a while I'm in conversation with a respectable coach (don't think he wants to be outed lol) and hopefully we can work together starting from next year. And let's see to how far I can make it in this beautifull shite game.....
Maybe a bit rusty wrap up, I'm a bit tired haha. But anyway I will stop updating the blog from now on, maybe somewhere in the middle of next year I feel motivated to update again. Thank you all for reading and gl in 2025 😀
(in new 2p2 format everything before 2024 is missing you can read full blog in old format here: https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/174/poker-blogs-goals/my-last-shot-poker-1785038/)
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KidCudi147
19
1yr ago
Ggz, +54k for the month which is more than double as much as my previous best month so far. I ended it in classic fashion with an absolute superpunt on 2k :/// But overall I ran and played well this month and made great progress 😀 I'm now gonna take a break and will probably start grinding again next weekend. Hopefully by that time the vip games are back so I can lose 75% of my roll playing Linus heads up at nl100k so my mind is at comfort again.... But untill that time I will try to improve a bit and fight the uncomfortable feelings of my mind not allowing success and hapiness...
PlasticElephant
15
1yr agoNice job recognizing it's time to regroup, and ul on the run.
One thing I'd consider is you don't have to push to play the highest stakes.
Disciplined grinding lower for a period of years can give you financial freedom, and high stakes poker is like top 1% most stressful jobs someone can pursue. If you're prone to self doubt or bleed from poker results into life, it's fine to just take the path which accommodates greater life quality, when you're already in a spot where you can make serious money.
IME, amongst HS regs there are:
- some extremely self confident people who can trust the process and shrug off adversity which would cause extreme self doubt and spirals in others
- some who just don't realize how miserable the game makes them and how unsuitable it is to their temperament and health
Not to say it isn't worth the sacrifice if you are in the latter group, but important to acknowledge the sacrifice you make and whether it suits you specifically.
*would add that even the first group deals with extreme mental stress at the extremes of variance, but just react well generally...
